


The Yellow Tie

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Logan Sanders Angst, Logan angst, self-deprecating thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:37:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17223329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: Logan has exactly one yellow tie in his closet, none of the sides have ever seen him wear it. He knows that the others have forgotten about it, and thus rendering it useless. But even with that being said, only Logan knows when he’ll wear it, and only Logan knows why he’ll wear it.





	The Yellow Tie

Logan has a tie in his closet, it's been tucked away in the very very back, folded neatly and consistently ironed even if it hasn’t been used in years. It is well cared for, even if it isn’t necessarily cared for in the most direct sense. It’s a bright yellow the tie, Logan had envisioned it well when he had first created it in the mindspace, it was a loud and startling kind of yellow, the kind of color that would get just anyone's attention just by being in the room. It was kind of like a traffic cone, warning anyone and everyone away the moment that they saw it, warning them that even if nothing looked bad, something wasn’t necessarily right and that they should steer well clear from him. He had made it to look like that, a plain yellow, but as bright as the sunny on a summer day.

Both Roman and Patton had forgotten about the ties existence, after all, it had been years upon years since he’d actually shown it to them, and even longer since he’d put it on. He wasn’t so sure about Virgil, it was impossible to get the anxious side to forget about anything even if he had wanted him to. Regardless of whether or not Virgil remembered the tie, it wasn’t in his mind when he went into Logan’s room. Most of the time it was the last thing that Virgil thought about, let alone its meaning. 

No one remembered it, no one but Logan. 

Upon opening his eyes that morning, Logan knew what day it was. By the way that his feet dragged along the carpet, making his fingertips and toes staticy. Or the may that his shoulders hunched and his head hung solemnly, it was very obvious, or at least it was to Logan.

“Today’s the day,” He sourly muttered, a tired smirk playing on the corners of his lips, before that joke of a smile turned downwards. Rotting and turning bitter the inside of an apple that had been eaten by a worm, then again that did describe him didn’t it? Rotten and bitter. Or at least it described him today.

Walking into his closet, Logan breezed past all of the other identical ties he had hanging up in his closet, waves of indigo blue on his left and right. They all matched perfectly with the pitch black shirts he always wore and black dress pants, it was all identical, not a single flaw in sight. And yet he moved right past them all, his shoulders occasionally bumping against the hangers and clothing he had in the closet disrupting the flow. Turning it all sour. 

_ Like me.  _ Logan thought to himself with a sneer turned inwards, he couldn’t help it today. Today he hated it all, it got beneath his skin blazing like a fire that went on for miles and miles, a fire that would never dissolve or expire. His fingers stroked the silky smoothness of the bright yellow tie, for a moment it felt as if the color itself was burning its way into his mind and eyes. After all, it had been such a long time since he’d seen it, let alone take it out of the dark wooden box that had been tucked under a pile of old forgotten papers. A part of him wished that he too could have forgotten the existence of this tie, but no...that would never be the case. At least not for him. 

“You serve a purpose,” He harshly reminded the nonsentient piece of fabric in his hands, as he ribbed one of his plain black shirts off of the hanger. “You have a reason for being here.” Logan hissed from his clenched teeth, as he wrapped the fabric around his neck nearly drawing it too tight in the process. “You need to be here!” His eyes burned with a sickening mixture of anger and hate as he tightened the knot to the point that he felt as if it was choking him. 

His fists clenched and his teeth ground against one another before he smoothed his hair back, preserving the illusion for just a little bit longer. 

In a way, he hated the fabric around his neck. He hated what it stood for, for the reasons why he needed it, why it needed him, and why he couldn’t cast it into the oblivion of the subconscious. He hated it so much, that it made him want to be sick, even as he was lacing up his shoes, his every movement bleeding with rage and a brisk movement was too extra even for someone like Roman. He hated how it dangled from his neck, its color catching his eye every single time that he managed to look in the mirror as he traversed down the stairs. He hated it so damn much. 

“Logan!” Patton’s bright bubbling voice made a twitch rake through his body and across his bones, the sound like nails against a chalkboard as the moral side bounded in front of him. “What a lovely color! What’s the occasion Lo-Lo?” His bright smile said it all, that smile and the way that the sleeves of his hoodie swayed back and forth against his chest. A calm neutral gray against bright bubbly blue, that was who Patton was..wasn’t it? 

It was all too easy to fix a stale uncaring smile to his face, it was all too easy to lie to someone who had forgotten. Even as Roman barely offered him a glance, and even as Virgil’s sharp narrowed gaze became wary. It was all too easy. “It is merely nothing Patton, just a reminder for something. Today is a…” Logan paused, but just for a moment as his smile faltered. “Today is a day.” He finally settled on, not important and not necessarily bad, at least not to them. Yes, today was just a day, nothing for them to worry about, but just a day where they shouldn’t be around him too much. Lest his...filthy emotions get the better of him. “Today is nothing is all, so if you would...try not to be too loud.” 

His smile sharpened like ice, and for a split second Patton faltered in his grin towards Logan. There was something in his eyes, something that made the moral side just the slightest bit uneasy. Although that didn’t stop him from grinning back at Logan, clapping him on his back. 

“Of course Lo, today _is_ a day!” 

And just like that, Logan watched him bounce his way into the kitchen, the smell of pancakes, bacon, and eggs flowing through the air. On any other day, the smell itself would have made him hungry, today though...it made him want to be sick. He caught a glimpse of his bright yellow tie in the window by the couch, and his insides twisted as if someone had stuck their fist inside of him and was playing with his insides. As he remained standing there in the living room, not moving a single inch as the others went to join Patton. He hadn’t completely lied, his tie was a reminder. A reminder to both himself and those around him.

That with his tie acting as a traffic cone, warning the others. Warning them that not only was he flawed, but if they didn’t pay attention, it could get them hurt. 


End file.
